Where it Hurts

Leggy blondes in micro-skirts
Tend to get me where it hurts.

No Contest

Would you rather go to Tesco
Or have torrid sex al fresco?

HP Sauce

Here is my opinion: what a
Load of tosh is Harry Potter.

Babelicious

Babelicious babes all must
Like vacuum cleaners come to dust.

The Boss who Complained of Inefficiency

A bottleneck, you say -- but stop
A bottleneck is at the top!

Retrospect

Every pleasure of the night
By the morning seems so slight.

Chances Are

The chances are, when this is read,
That I shall be a long time dead.

EPITAPHS

For a Politician

The final judgment-scales are just:
He built on sand, now turns to dust.

For Myself

Here Andrew Belsey lies in truth
Who wasted both his age and youth.

Andrew Belsey

If you've any comment on these poems, Andrew Belsey would be pleased to hear from you.