Ballade of Homeopathy

I can’t resist a chance to mock
  This most dim-witted fantasy.
Empiricism is the rock
  Upon which our society
Now rests, yet rationality
  Is still compelled to take the dock
By those who buy the fallacy
  Of post hoc ergo propter hoc*.

You hear them whining round the clock
  ‘Big Pharma’s a conspiracy!’
But you don’t have to be John Locke
  To poke holes in the theory
That water has a memory.
  It doesn’t take a Mr Spock
To spot illogicality
  In post hoc ergo propter hoc.

Why do these arts grad ninnies flock
  To trumpet the efficacy
Of sugar pills when chemists stock
  Real medicines? It’s lunacy.
But I suppose they must be free
  To do it if I’m free to knock
Placebos and to disagree
  With post hoc ergo propter hoc.

Envoi

Prince Charles, you lend authority
  To this extraordinary crock,
But I say give the third degree
  To post hoc ergo propter hoc.



Rob Stuart

If you have any comments on this poem, Rob Stuart would be pleased to hear them.

* post hoc ergo propter hoc: 'After this, therefore because of this'.