Be Someone Else, for a Change
or: Ask the Tailor, the Man that Makes the Clothes

"Be yourself"
             the counselor said.
                          Oh, thanks a bundle,
             what a head
she’s got. I think
             I’ll just ignore
                          that good advice
             she has in store.
So sweet and nice
             it gives me welts.
                          No, I think I’ll be
             someone else.
Perhaps I’ll grow
             a sophist beard,
                          then shave it off,
             and, when it’s sheared,
replace it with
             a neat goatee.
                          That could be anyone
             but me!
I’ll dress in tweeds
             and pleated slacks,
                          then get tattoos
             all down my back.
I’ll wear a top hat,
             sport a toque,
                          I’ll don a homburg.
             Tilt it. Smoke.
I’ll wear greasepaint
             like Groucho Marx,
                          I’ll wear white spats
             and cheat card sharks.
In fuzzy slippers
             I’ll go ploddin’
                          round the city,
             just like Auden.
I’ll wear zoot suits
             and cut a line,
                          I’ll wheel and deal,
             I’ll wine and dine!
I’ll hug the winds and
             kiss the sky,
                          and always have
             the best reply
when they cry,
             "How well you dance!"
                          "I left myself
                                       in my other pants."

Daniel Galef


If you have any comments on this poem, Daniel Galef would be pleased to hear from you.