A likely story
 
She was pregnant, she knew for a fact,
But insisted that she was ‘intact’.
Though her story was lame -
“Well, this angel, like, came...” -
A religion was born from her act.
 
Wooing, then and now
 
A caveman would give her a knock
On the head with a stone or a crock,
No romantic palaver ...
Today, we are suaver,
And stun them with Tiffany rock.
 
Ironing out the bugs
 
The chap who invented the wheel
Couldn’t get the idea to congeal.
“The concept is there,”
Said his wife, “But a square?
It needs to be rounder, I feel.”
 
The eleventh commandment
 
 “Ten commandments on stone”, Moses sighed,
“They’re so heavy, I’m starting to slide.
This job is no heaven –”
“Let’s make it eleven:
THOU SHALT NOT COMPLAIN!”, God replied.
 
All-inclusive
 
The Captain gave friendly advice:
“Drink up, folks, it’s all in the price!”
The party was manic
Aboard the “Titanic”;
The guests were all breaking the ice.
 
An offer he couldn’t refuse
 
The Speaker said  “Please take the floor”
To the Senator from Arkansas.
He replied, “Well, gee, thanks”
As he prised up the planks
Which he sold to the carpentry store.

Brian Allgar

If you have any comments on these poems, Brian Allgar would be pleased to hear from you.