Quite an Undertaking
As undertakers we advise
dress, or best suit, but no ties.
In our What to Wear in Coffin or Casket,
' Casual' works for our willow basket.
But getting to grips with the corpulent corpse
can worsen the loved ones' distress and remorse -
(we have to consult, but the rels can't hack it)
cutting our way up the back of Dad's jacket.
We blame the large for most of our trouble;
we can make them up, we sort chin stubble,
but the coffins our clientele generally buys
aren't fit for this current obesity rise.
Discreetly we offer the XL in teak,
(some titter hysterically, others can't speak)
and our new Jumbo Hearse for the trip to the crem.
(The cost is enormous and horrifies them.)
So - caution regarding the overweight stiff:
you'll never squeeze into our coffins if
you don't slim down; it's never too late
to get in trim for the fatal date.
If you have any thoughts on this poem, S. O. Fasrus
would be pleased to hear them.