‘George, George!’ chirped the Deputy Headmistress
As we helped ourselves to coffee at the morning break.
‘Two spoons of sugar!’ she carolled rather girlishly, 
‘Pure, white and deadly! And you’re eating cake!’

Is it in the job description for a Deputy Headmistress
To be arch and disapproving and to assume the right to bore?
To assert the fatal consequence of sugary deliciousness
And to parrot dismal warnings that she’s heard on Radio Four?

I did not answer rudely to the Deputy Headmistress;
I’m not that kind of chap, and life’s too short for goodness’ sake.
But I recall that morning, and I cannot keep from chuckling
For she’s now in the graveyard, and I’m here, still eating cake.

George Simmers

If you have any thoughts on this poem, George Simmers  would be pleased to hear them.