dash
Model Husband 

Kate
              Moss
Kate Moss
 
She scrubs up well does my missus,  
in her dungarees or black lace;  
I experience what bliss is  
when I gaze upon her face.  
For although her hair is thinning  
and several parts are growing fat,  
there arent any other women  
who can make me feel like that.  
In her eyes the stars are swimming  
without artificial gloss,  
so I have to say no thank you to Kate Moss.  
 
Since she split up with Pete Doherty  
Ive attracted Kates attention;  
her efforts to get off with me  
have been gathering momentum.  
From St Tropez, she writes, Dear Ray,  
I want to be with you so much!  
She beseeches me to run away  
and live with her over the brush.  
She holds the hope that well elope  
to Tenerife or Barbados,  
but I have to say no thank you to Kate Moss.  
 
It aint that I dont fancy Kate  
and her legs so long and lissom,  
but Kate does not appreciate  
the strength of the competition.  
They say Kate only shifts her ass  
out of bed for a grand or more,  
but for every pound of flesh she has  
my missus has three or four.  
When you weigh it in the balance  
Id be suffering a loss,  
so I have to say no thank you to Kate Moss.  
 
My missus cooks luscious lasagne,  
curry and chili con carne;  
that toffee stuff with banana  
Kate Moss couldnt make a sarnie.  
After a hard day at the office  
Id return asking Tea ready yet?  
Shed be in bed drinking coffees  
and smoking her cigarettes.  
Yeah, Ive thought about a threesome:  
it would be too much of a squash,  
so I have to say no thank you to Kate Moss.
 
While shes snorting coke and smoking dope  
and overdosing acid,  
Im popping little pills in hope  
my vital parts arent flaccid.  
Shes sniffing far too many lines  
and damaging her septum;  
Im drinking too much beer and wine
and losing my erection.  
Id love to please but these dodgy knees  
can pay homage to only one boss
and I have to say no thank you to Kate Moss.

Raymond Miller

If you have any thoughts on this poem,  Raymond Miller
would be pleased to hear them.


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