Lies My Mother Told Me If the wind should change, your face will stay like that. You'll catch a cold unless you wear a hat. You sit on that cold step and you'll get piles. A decent girl won't wear those low-cut styles. At "that time of the month" don't wash your hair. And nice girls never touch themselves down there. Men don't think that clever girls are fun; to catch a clever man, you should act dumb. Damaged goods will stay upon the shelf you'll be forever lonely by yourself. The worst thing that could happen in your life is to become a mum but not a wife. Let him bed you, and he'll turn and go. When you meet the one to marry, you'll just know. You'll learn one day, a mother just knows best; take my advice, and don't believe the rest. Some day you'll wish you'd listened more to me. And sex ain't all that it's cracked up to be. Veronica Milvus If you have any comments on her poem, Veronica Milvus would like to hear them.