Seven Little Willies
I.
Little Willie, watching
Saw
,
Pulled off his sister’s lower jaw.
‘Play nice’, his parents warned, ‘or you
Won’t be allowed to see
Saw II
.’
II.
Little Willie, misbehaving,
Did some gerbil microwaving.
Daddy said ‘You’d better stop
When you’ve made this one’s eyes go pop.’
III.
Little Willie took a gun
And sniped at gypsies, just for fun.
‘At last!’ Mum said. ‘The things I’ve tried
To get that child to play outside!’
IV.
Little Willie thought it beezer,
Shutting Baby in the freezer.
Mummy said ‘Remove him, please.
I need that space for frozen peas.’
V.
Little Willie, for a laugh,
Put Granny in an acid bath.
You should have heard his dad complain;
‘That sludge has gone and blocked the drain!’
VI.
Little Willie nailed Aunt Mabel
Firmly to the kitchen table.
Mummy, with a dreadful shriek,
Said ‘That’s an uninsured antique!’
VII.
Little Willie tortured pets
With red-hot ends of cigarettes.
The law got wind of Willie’s tricks
And now he works for MI6.
Rob Stuart
Harry Graham
The 'Little Willie'
is a verse-form
invented by
Harry Graham in his
Ruthless Rhymes for
Heartless Homes
(1899)
If you have any comments on this poem,
Rob Stuart
would be pleased to hear them.
