Ruthless Codepieces

 (On reading the Countryside Agency’s ‘Countryside Code’ )

 Grim Harvester

 Two walkers once, who left the path
     With fleeting union in mind,
Were reaped – oh, tragic aftermath! –
     And permanently here combined.

Wheel-Meat Again

Gates should be shut on passing through,
For who knows what might follow you?
Perhaps a tender calf – (brakes, squeal) –
Like that one, turned to instant veal!

Tree Conversion

Though the cook’s fire produces
    Superb stews and hashes,
Don’t camp among spruces
    And leave them all ashes.

Littery Supplement

Now Blanche has gone to better scenes,
     Low sadly, herd she was the pride of,
And curse the day she found those beans –
     That was the tin the old cow died of. 

Wolf! Wolf!

Dear Mary had a little – Guess! –
    Until the poor young thing got worried
 And Rover left her such a mess
     Her parents had to have it – curried. 

Jerome Betts

If you have any comments on any of these poems,  Jerome Betts would be pleased to hear from you.