My Victor Meldrew Moment
Victor Meldrew was a character in the hit BBC comedy series
"One Foot in the Grave” between 1990 and 2000, and his catchphrase
was “I Don’t Believe It!”
When I did the test it was a birthday gift
and I hoped for a candle on my cake.
That cake delivered a surprising bite.
My saliva sample’s results were spat back,
electronically, to reveal a mixed ethnicity
and the seeds to grow a tree into a history.
Now I’m hopping from branch to branch
as the tree begins to grow and grow.
Just look at all those rings!
Back I go to weather-beaten vikings
called Snø, Frosti and “Kari” Wind,
to William the Conqueror, not once but twice
and to name after name, noble and royal.
I could visit cathedrals all over Western Europe,
point at the solemn tombstones and whisper:
“That’s my ancestor” and I wouldn’t be lying.
Just look at all those kings!
On the bus I imagine how others would react
on hearing that I am descended from
Alfred the Great and a Roman Emperor,
Marcus Aurelius Valerius Maxentius.
Would they turn away or simply change seats?
I have learned that the past and its few
begat the present and its many
and we’re all related to each other, in the end.
So their response ought to be “us too!”.
Technology’s telescope has shown me my past.
It’s an everything wrapped inside a nothing
as I’ll never know the people from three to
63 generations back. Maybe they still survive
in tiny, tiny pieces inside my own DNA.
That’s an honour I would share with
my millions of third and fifth cousins
living all over the world.
Jean says that life is about what you are now,
not where you come from. Maybe she has a point,
but if any of those ancestors had never existed
you would not be reading this poem today.
Susan Wilson
