Pussfluencer… Follow that Cat
           
I am the Cat that used to Walk By Itself.
But now I have a million followers.
I am Madame Fluffsky, furry-tailed, Blue Purrrrrshun.
Pussfluencer, Influencer, Proper Catageezer. Clickacatbait.
All eyes are turned on me, mouse eyes, beyond screens,
as I pounce prettily, or purr fatly, fuzzily in the catmint bed…
Or, my purrrrsonal favourite, opening the frrridge door
with my paw
to get the Purina, or Whiskers, (or whatever… )
My human sets up fluffy birds on wires, so I dance prrrettily,
Strrrrictly Celebrrricat. It’s a click-a-thon.
Or she knits wooly balls aka mice, so I pounce, Tiger cat,
Clickety click. Hashtag Funny kitten. Miaow-miaow mode.
I pat-paw the fishbowl, goldfish clickbait,
(though my preference is apparently a vegan fish casserrrole
served in a diamante bowl.)
I can recommend a good vet, at a prrrrice,
and why not rrrrrreal estate, prrrrivate healthcare,
and a 5 star crrrrrruise.
I strrrretch luxuriously in my fur-lined basket,
yeowling RRRRRossini’s Cat Duet softly, (both parts),
or doze catatonic in cat-nap.
I am Bastet, with a million followers.
Prrractically a goddess already.
Hash tag Click-a-Cat Pussfluencer.

Mary Lister

Complete Twerks is Mary Lister’s second collection of poetry. But as well as comical poetic ‘twerks’, there are comic sketches such as Waiting for Godot Act 3’ and ‘Neolithic Tinder Dating’, and short stories and flash fiction. It makes a cracking good Christmas present! Mary Lister was a professional storyteller, children’s writer, and puppeteer, travelling widely with her work. Now she concentrates on more ‘grown up’ stuff  and performs at local poetry events in Yorkshire. Some comments on Mary’s Complete Twerks: “Dispel any sense of gloom by reading this collection of poems, sketches and stories. It evokes smiles from beginning to end.” Vincent Johnson, poet. “Mary Lister is an extraordinary storyteller.  Her words and art take us on a unique journey. She has a touch of magic about her.” Anne Steward, writer and novelist.

The book is available from Amazon.

If you have any thoughts about this poem or this publication,  Mary Lister  would be pleased to hear them