 |
In May of 2001, I self-published a book of poems. It was titled Atheist Grace. I dedicated the volume to Shizuko, who so liked my poems, she often served as my patron. She went so far as to take me with her on a visit to Japan. She believed the experience would inspire me. I had never before left the United States, except for Canada.
While Shizuko attended to family matters in Japan, my friend Kazuko hosted my three-week stay, allowing me to sleep in her rabbit hutch, as she referred to her tiny apartment. Kazuko was still legally my wife at the time. I brought the divorce papers for her to sign. We have remained friends.
This is the preface I composed for Atheist Grace:
| “Unlike my prose, the reader will
find my poetry lacks punctuation marks and
majuscules. The form presents constraints that
I have found comfortable and appealing. I like
to look at my poetry and think of it as
translations from, or imitations of, Chinese
or Japanese or an ancient language before
punctuation. This is obviously not a
legitimate basis for the style, which I
arrived at by a circuitous route of personal
misunderstandings that no longer matter and
will not be discussed here. This volume is
meant to entertain even as I hope it will
provoke thought. “It is not with confidence that I self-publish my poetry. Whatever merit this book has the reader must decide. Being one who is constantly haunted by doubt for the value of my work, I have long ago learned that confidence isn’t necessary to do the work. When I am engaged in writing, I am not aware of confidence. Whether this volume succeeds or fails in popularity, I am happier having spent the money to publish this book of poems rather than saving it for my headstone. “There is about libraries that which is hopeful, and of free libraries that which is noble. They are clearinghouses of human thought, where all understanding that can be recorded and gathered is made available for the asking. In addition to learning, to satisfying our curiosity, we also visit the library for entertainment, for advice, for salvation, for consolation. It is where humans store all their experience and ideas to be shared. Libraries are the apotheosis of our species’ culture and I am grateful for the institution. “Therefore, I have arranged for all royalties for this book to go to the Friends of the Library. In this small way, I hope to return to the Yardley-Makefield Branch of the Bucks County Free Library in Pennsylvania the service they have rendered to me. “17th May 2001” |
Addendum:
You won’t find the book. I have taken the book out-of-print and ended my contract with Xlibris. The publisher too often disappointed me with the quality of the merchandise they produced.
Back in 2001, I had provided the Yardley-Makefield Branch of the Bucks County Free Library copies of the book for their shelves. Instead, they went into a charity sale for the library. Fair enough.
I am thinking of returning my book of poems to print, but with a different publisher.
George Simmers, the publisher-editor, of Snakeskin, said he preferred my prose to my poetry and invited me to compose essays, opening his webzine to my monthly column. And so it began with issue 26, January 1998, my first submission of prose. Next month, January 2025, I will have been writing my essays for 27 years and have yet to miss a deadline.
It wasn’t long after I began writing the essays in 1998 that I had stopped writing poetry. It is only recently I have been encouraged to take up the format again, and maybe I will.
Mr Bentzman will continue to report here regularly about
the events and concerns of his life. If you've any
comments or suggestions, he would be pleased to hear from you.
You can find his
several books at www.Bentzman.com.
Enshrined
Inside Me, his second collection of
essays, is now available to purchase.
'Atheist Grace', the
title poem of Mr Bentzman's collection, can be read here.
