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It used to be, near Christmas time, that a small stall was erected in front of the Tabernacle Chapel. Two donkeys were then installed there as a Christmas display. The circumstances changed after Covid. I recall the emptiness of the streets during that Christmas. There were few shoppers and those few were wearing masks. The donkeys were gone. When the donkeys returned, their three-sided stall was placed next to the side entrance of Saint John the Baptist Church. They are Thomas and Toby, brothers. Toby is the darker of the two.
On a quiet afternoon, when no one happened to be around, I visited Thomas and Toby to discuss philosophy. In particular, I wanted them to explain what was the meaning and purpose of my life.
“Shwmae,” I said. Neither responded. “I know you can talk because it says so in the inerrant Bible. Numbers 22:21-35. Come on, guys, this is really important to me.” I said again, “Shwmae!”
Toby: Shalom.
Thomas: Eirēnē.
Me: What is the meaning and purpose of my life if I must in the end die?
Thomas: Do you fear death?
Me: Don’t you?
Toby: We fear discomfort and pain. Don’t really think about death. We won’t know we are dead.
Thomas: It cannot be much different from what we were feeling in all the eons before we were born.
Me: But what is the purpose of anything, any endeavor, if in the end it is erased?
Thomas: Purpose satisfies the moment.
Me: Christians say God gives us purpose.
Thomas: What purpose does God give us?
Me: We just have to obey God?
Thomas: We do not obey God. We obey our instincts.
Me: But the Bible says you obey God.
Thomas: How so?
Me: When Moses put two of you on the Ark –
Toby
Toby: That was Noah, not Moses.
Me: When Noah put two of you on the Ark, you came because God commanded it.
Toby: A fairytale included in a bronze age anthology.
Thomas: The authors had no idea of the world, nor of the heavens above.
Toby: They plagiarized an earlier work.
Thomas: An act of cultural appropriation. Are we to believe God required us to also carry aboard the Ark tapeworms and roundworms and liver flukes?
Toby: And lungworms, just to pass them on to the horses, because lungworms don’t affect us.
Thomas: If God was punishing evil, why did he preserve parasites?
Me: You don’t believe in God?
Thomas: We are asses, we do not believe in the supernatural.
Me: If there is no God, nor an afterlife, your truth leads to nothing.
Thomas: What is nothing? Can nothing even exist?
Me: If there is no God or afterlife, it means the end of existence.
Thomas: Only your awareness of existence.
Toby: Even now the world is busy with things existing of which you are not aware.
Me: But what is the purpose and meaning of life?
Thomas: To eat.
Toby: To reproduce.
Me: But what is the purpose of my life? How can that be enough? Don’t you need God to give you purpose?
Thomas: It is instinct. We are the descendants of asses that wanted to live. Those with no desire to live would starve.
Toby: And they wouldn’t reproduce.
Me: So the only reason I want to live is because I inherited a desire to live from my ancestors?
Thomas
Thomas: More of a practice than a desire.
Toby: It feels like a desire.
Me: It is not enough for me. What is the point of bothering to achieve anything if eventually we die?
Thomas: Ars longa, vita brevis.
Toby translated: Art is long, life is short.
Me: Still, nothing lasts forever. No art is lasting. It will all disappear if nothing is eternal. What a waste. What is the point? Why bother doing anything?
Thomas: And what difference would a God make?
Toby: If there is a God.
Thomas: You are saddling a God with your existential dilemma.
Me: Well, yes. He must have a plan I don’t understand.
Toby [hee-hawing]: Ah yes, God works in mysterious ways.
Thomas: Old man, because you cannot answer the question for yourself, because you cannot give yourself purpose and meaning, you expect a secret assignment from your God? But who gives God purpose or meaning?
Toby: This God you imagine, he must contend with eternity. He must assign himself purpose and meaning. Why does he not get bored? Why does he not decide, why bother? What is God’s purpose? What does he want to do to fulfill his eternal existence? Who or what gave God purpose and why doesn’t God choose to cease existing?
Thomas: From where could an eternal being inherit an instinct for survival? This God must confront the same existential dilemma you have, why exist?
Toby: Content yourself as we do. It is enough to eat and reproduce. It feels good.
Me: It is not enough for me.
Thomas: Are you not a social creature?
Me: Yes, of course.
Thomas: Well, surely you enjoy company as much as we do?
Toby: And love.
Me: There is that. I have always been fortunate with friends.
Thomas: And does not the company of friends fill you with a desire to live?
Toby: And doesn’t love fill you even more?
Me: I suppose.
Thomas: Well there you are. You can be as happy as my brother Toby and me.
Toby: We’re rarely apart.
Me: But I am not an ass. I long for something more.
Thomas: That is the curious thing about your kind. That is why you write.
Toby: Whereas we cannot be bothered with writing or reading.
Thomas: You do not need to create a God. I tell you this, old man, what creature spends so much time experiencing wonder as does your kind?
Toby: Wonder and awe, is that not enough reason for existence?
And then Thomas and Toby went silent because their caretaker returned with more feed.
Mr Bentzman will continue to report here regularly about
the events and concerns of his life. If you've any
comments or suggestions, he would be pleased to hear from you.
You can find his
several books at www.Bentzman.com.
Enshrined
Inside Me, his second collection of
essays, is now available to purchase.
