Words To Her Husband
Soon the deepening whisper of evening calls from a morning half-cut as usual. This has become the reflex by which we live, moments of endurance until the light goes out and the big man with the brown bottle casts aside the moon and the stars and calculates his landscape. There can be nothing then save the soft pampering of the morning after, the excuses, the reasons, my blackened face mirrored in the mirror as I wander nowhere special. What have I said, what has happened, this room pained with familiars? You cannot say and I have lost my voice, my language soft as though settled into the dust of something once promised. Now not even the frail tone of Buddha could manage your strife, coming as it does from nowhere, brown bottles covering the room, the odd martini afterwards topping up the resilience pleasure. And I can give you no more, nothing else that might set the eyes straight, that might wish away the morning, the afternoons of wandering the early evening pleasure strangled with vermouth. These are words of departure, a poem at which you would frown and bear false smiles, reckoning nothing at their intention to dispel gently what has become this, this moment, our faces distant from one another as we watch the day go, as we watch the day. Now I know I must turn, learn that love does not always favour love, this poem addressed to you amongst the wrappings of bottles and the odd glint of glass as you take another drink, the day halfcut, evening taken with a pleasure no one could prescribe, no one to care, no where, no when, except perhaps me in the rash second of a moment that falls in the rash second of a moment that falls in until the cold starting of dawn, the silence of a pleasure taking hold, nothing there as you mouth my name that comes across without reason, the fallen sound waiting for forgiveness as it does each day, fashioning the seconds of my hours half lost in the long sorting ofthe morning's edge.
John Cornwall