Planning the Reception

You should have
a horse and carriage.
You should have
a woman bartender.
You should have
more than three hundred guests
but less than fifty.
You must have
the groom in a tuxedo!
If you don't have
response cards,
I'm going to chop
this bunny's head off!
You must have
ten Jewish men
to form a minion.
You must have
a maid of honor
to cancel out
the best man.
He must wear a sword!
He must make a toast!
His toast must be
funny, but not
disgusting! If his toast
isn't funny enough,
we're going to drown
this iguana
in the punch bowl!
What? You don't have
a punch bowl? You
must have a punch bowl!
And then you'll need
a silver ladle, and
one thousand matching plastic
cups with your brand new name
emblazoned upon them
in glitter!

Jessy Randall

If you've any comments on this poem, Jessy Randall would be pleased to hear from you.